Guest Post: The Hubby

I thought it was only right that the first guest blog post was from my husband. I know this isn't really in line with the main thrust of this blog, but I wanted to do something a little different. I mentioned my stud of a husband earlier in the blog. 

He wrote this during the engagement stage of our relationship, and I figured I would share it with you. A few of you may have read this a few years ago, but it is certainly a good reminder for me, too!

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I don't normally use writing as an outlet as much as My does, but I felt the need to do a post on what we believe and what we're learning about marriage.

Those who are close to me know I am not a fan of clichés. I like going against the grain and looking at things from a different perspective. This is especially true in regards to marriage. The popular teachings on marriage either come from Genesis 2:24 or Ephesians 5:22-33. Though these are great passages and wonderful truths are found in them, they tend to be overused. I believe the Bible has a lot more to say about marriage in passages that are not easily found in the concordance. Admittedly, they may not deal directly with marriage, but there are principles that can be applied to marriage.

For example, 1 Peter 2:18-25 gives us a great insight on how servants should respond to their masters. Peter says that servants should be subject to their masters with all respect -- not just to the ones who are good and gentle, but also to the ones who are unjust (1 Peter 2:18). Peter explains that this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly (1Peter 2:19). I like to call this the principle of being a living sacrifice.

In Romans, Paul appeals to Christians to present their bodies as living sacrifices. In his letter, Peter seems to be giving a practical example of how to do this. Naturally, a servant is willing to serve a master, who is good and gentle. Likewise, it is natural for a servant to be unwilling to serve a master who is unjust. However, Peter commands believers to become living sacrifices by being subject to their masters, despite them being unjust.

This goes completely contrary to man’s sinful nature. Why would Peter and Paul command believers to serve and obey someone who is unjust to them? Should not these masters be punished for their injustice? Peter goes on to explain that obeying unjust masters is a gracious thing in the sight of God because of what Christ did. Christ committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When He was reviled, He did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but continued entrusting Himself to God who judges justly (1 Peter 2:23).

If anyone should have been punished it would be those who reviled and abused Jesus. He had every right and the power to do so, if He pleased. However, had He immediately punished those who were unjust to Him, His ultimate goal of redemption would not have been accomplished. Therefore, in Jesus’ suffering, God the Father was glorified. In the same way, God is glorified when we suffer unjustly for His sake.

Now, you may be wondering how this relates to marriage. I would reply that one of God’s purposes in His planq for believers is for them to be conformed to Jesus Christ. One of the main ways God does this is through relationships. Peter gave the example of the relationship between a master and servant. However, the relationship between the husband and wife may be the relationship that most effectively accomplishes this.

Interestingly enough, this is the relationship Peter speaks on in the next chapter. He tells husbands to live with their wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel since they are heirs with them in the grace of life, so that prayers may not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7). Peter’s command demonstrates the distinct roles, yet the equality of the husband and the wife. The husband’s role as the leader is not to be one of dictatorship. An example of dictatorship would be where the husband does what he pleases with the family’s finances. Servant leadership – the ideal role – would be where the husband listens and strives to understand the ideas of his wife and then makes a decision that is beneficial to them as a whole. The husband in the first example treats his wife as a second class citizen, while the second husband values his wife’s opinion and consults with her.

Though I and my very beautiful, smart, kind, and awesome fiancée are not yet married I do admit I struggle in the area of understanding her. She may have a thought or idea and I tend to reject it, without considering her feelings or seeing things from her perspective. This is usually due to my own personal opinion or feeling. However, as a husband in training I need to seek to understand her feelings and opinions before my own. Though naturally my sinful nature will want to say “what?”, “NO”, “that’s crazy”, “why would you do that?” or any other condescending phase or tone that belittles or discourages any idea she may have.

This principle even extends to times where I may feel I have been treated unjustly by her. Again, naturally, I would want to get angry and take it out on her; but, I must remember our relationship is meant to conform me to Christ. One way to do that is by being a living sacrifice. Even if I am wronged by My, I am called to love and understand her (though that may be exactly what I do not want to do). This is what the principle of being a living sacrifice looks like. I am to do this, not because I love My, but because it was what Christ did for me. I have wronged and rebelled against him, yet He died in my place. He suffered the wrath that I earned. Now that I have Christ as the perfect example of love, I should model it towards My.

I should seek to understand her, despite our differing opinions; and I should love her, even if she has wronged me. Though there are differences between the marital relationship and the servant/master relationship, the principle of being a living sacrifice is clearly shown. This is a principle that I will earnestly strive to apply to all areas of my life, especially to my future wife. By this, I honor my wife and glorify God.

Photo Credit: Tom Butler of Seven Hills Photography